


Mission D

by Ren



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Bad Advice, Chatlogs, Dating, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-21
Updated: 2017-03-07
Packaged: 2018-09-26 03:09:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 5,799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9859421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ren/pseuds/Ren
Summary: v-nikiforov: The purpose of this chat is to get Yurio laid!yuri-plisetsky has left the chat.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> For Otayuri Week 2017, Day 2: Social Media
> 
> I don't usually do this, but work is being very stressful and I'm too sleepy to write much, so I'll be writing this in installments. It's going to be in four parts, I think.
> 
> Disclaimer: Many plot points were lifted from twitter convos with my mutuals about oblivious Otabek and terrible wingmen Viktor and Chris. I'm @alcoholicrevo, come yell at me on twitter about Otayuri! I will yell back and maybe turn a single tweet into a multichapter fic, because YOI has robbed me of any pretense of chill!

_Today, 16:03_

_**v-nikiforov** has added **yuri-plisetsky** to the chat._

_**v-nikiforov** has added **katsuki-yuri** to the chat._

_**v-nikiforov** has added **christophe-gc** to the chat._

**v-nikiforov** : The purpose of this chat is to get Yurio laid!

_**yuri-plisetsky** has left the chat._

**katsuki-yuri** : Viktor!

_**v-nikiforov** has added **yuri-plisetsky** to the chat._

**christophe-gc** : I'm flattered that you thought of me

 **christophe-gc** : but I'm a married man now ;)

 **v-nikiforov** : ;D

 **yuri-plisetsky** : URGH stop that you baldy

 **yuri-plisetsky** : i regret ever telling you anything

 **katsuki-yuri** : What is this all about?

 **v-nikiforov** : Yurio is pining!

 **yuri-plisetsky** : I'M NOT!

 **katsuki-yuri** : Is it true?

 **christophe-gc** : who is he pining for?? deets!

 **yuri-plisetsky** : AND STOP CALLING ME YURIO

 **v-nikiforov** : The handsome skater from Kazakhstan, Otabek Altin!

 **katsuki-yuri** : Hasn't Yurio been dating Otabek for some time now?

 **christophe-gc** : whaaat? I'm shocked!

 **christophe-gc** : nobody told me!

 **christophe-gc** : is this true??

_**yuri-plisetsky** is typing..._

**yuri-plisetsky** : yes

 **katsuki-yuri** : Congratulations!

 **christophe-gc** : CONGRATS!!!

 **yuri-plisetsky** : URGH

 **v-nikiforov** : Unfortunately, our Yurio is unhappy

 **v-nikiforov** : Because Otabek won't sleep with him :(

 **yuri-plisetsky** : it's not that he doesn't want to!

 **yuri-plisetsky** : i mean

 **yuri-plisetsky** : i don't think he doesn't want to???

 **yuri-plisetsky** : we've just never talked about it at all

 **christophe-gc** : aww, so innocent ;D

 **yuri-plisetsky** : just shut up you old has been

 **v-nikiforov** : Otabek is coming to Russia next week

 **v-nikiforov** : So I thought we could all give Yurio tips on how to seduce him!

 **christophe-gc** : 8D

 **yuri-plisetsky** : lmao you're one to talk, it took you months to get in katsudon's pants

 **katsuki-yuri** : Hey!

 **v-nikiforov** : You were worth the wait, babe ❤︎

 **katsuki-yuri** : You're making me blush…

_**yuri-plisetsky** has left the chat._

_**v-nikiforov** has added **yuri-plisetsky** to the chat._

_**v-nikiforov** changed the chat title to **"Mission D"**._

**yuri-plisetsky** : i hate you all

 **christophe-gc** : you shouldn't have asked Vik, he's bad at this sort of thing

 **christophe-gc** : you're lucky to have my help now ;)

 **katsuki-yuri** : It's true that Chris is an expert of mature eros…

 **v-nikiforov** : Awwwn :(

 **v-nikiforov** : Even if it took me a long time, I'm married now and very happy

 **v-nikiforov** : And we do it every day, sometimes multiple times a day ❤︎

 **katsuki-yuri** : Viktor! That's personal!

 **christophe-gc** : haha congrats!

 **yuri-plisetsky** : i swear to god baldy, if you don't stop right now

 **yuri-plisetsky** : i will block you and then i will find you and kick you in the balls

 **v-nikiforov** : D:

 **christophe-gc** : now, now, there's no need to be like that

 **christophe-gc** : just listen to my tips and you'll get laid asap

 **katsuki-yuri** : What do you suggest, Chris?

_**christophe-gc** is typing..._

**christophe-gc** : the direct approach works best

 **yuri-plisetsky** : i'm listening

 **christophe-gc** : so you invite him over to your place

 **yuri-plisetsky** : i can do that

 **christophe-gc** : and when he arrives

 **christophe-gc** : you're naked

 **yuri-plisetsky** : what

 **yuri-plisetsky** : the

 **yuri-plisetsky** : fuck

 **katsuki-yuri** : I don't think that's a good idea…

 **v-nikiforov** : That's a great idea!

 **v-nikiforov** : Babe, remember when I came to Hasetsu and we met in the baths and I was naked? ❤︎

 **yuri-plisetsky** : VIKTOR CAN YOU NOT

 **yuri-plisetsky** : i'm not doing that, no way!

 **christophe-gc** : it would 100% work! guaranteed!

 **yuri-plisetsky** : hell no, i'm staying at my grandfather's, i can't just get naked with him around

 **christophe-gc** : just wait until he's gone

 **yuri-plisetsky** : what about my cat? i'm not having sex in front of my cat

 **v-nikiforov** : Makkachin doesn't mind

 **katsuki-yuri** : Viktor…

 **christophe-gc** : my cat doesn't either ;D

_**yuri-plisetsky** has left the chat._

**v-nikiforov** : I told you babe, he really doesn't mind!

 **christophe-gc** : Pets don't even know what's going on

 **katsuki-yuri** : But it's so embarrassing!

 **v-nikiforov** : By the way!

_**v-nikiforov** has added **yuri-plisetsky** to the chat._

**v-nikiforov** : Whenever I took my clothes off in front of Yuuri, he couldn't keep his eyes from me!

 **yuri-plisetsky** : gross!

 **v-nikiforov** : No I mean, you should try it with Otabek

 **v-nikiforov** : It doesn't have to be full frontal nudity ;)

 **christophe-gc** : that's true, you could just

 **christophe-gc** : ~seductively~ show a bit of skin 8D

 **katsuki-yuri** : Maybe you can pretend that the room is too hot??

 **katsuki-yuri** : Then take off an item of clothing

 **yuri-plisetsky** : urgh, that sounds so dumb

 **yuri-plisetsky** : i'm not doing it

 **v-nikiforov** : Do you want to get laid or not?

 **yuri-plisetsky** : URGH


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Otayuri Week 2017, Day 3: Future/Coming-of-age
> 
> More bad advice from the world's worst wingmen. Will Yuri manage to get laid?? We just don't know.

_Yesterday, 23:51_

**yuri-plisetsky** : you are all the worst

**yuri-plisetsky** : i hate you and i wish i never listened to you

_Today, 09:04_

**v-nikiforov** : Yurio! How did your date go last night?

**yuri-plisetsky** : it SUCKED, thank you very much

**v-nikiforov** : You didn't have sex? :(

**yuri-plisetsky** : no! and it's all your fault!

**yuri-plisetsky** : you and your stupid ideas

**katsuki-yuri** : What happened?

**yuri-plisetsky** : like hell i'm telling you, katsudon!

**v-nikiforov** : We just want to help!

_**yuri-plisetsky** has left the chat._

**v-nikiforov** : :(

**katsuki-yuri** : Just give him some space for now

_Today, 12:23_

**christophe-gc** : omg I just saw the msgs!!

**christophe-gc** : Viktooor! do you know what happened with Yurio and his bf last night?

_Today, 15:10_

**christophe-gc** : please, the curiosity is killing me

_Today, 20:03_

_**katsuki-yuri** has added **yuri-plisetsky** to the chat._

**yuri-plisetsky** : FINE!

**yuri-plisetsky** : since baldy keeps pestering me

**yuri-plisetsky** : i will tell you but i swear if you make fun of me i'm going to hurt you

**v-nikiforov** : Promise! :D

**katsuki-yuri** : Of course we won't make fun of you!

**yuri-plisetsky** : and nobody else can ever know

**christophe-gc** : teeell uuus!!!

_**yuri-plisetsky** is typing..._

**yuri-plisetsky** : ok well

**yuri-plisetsky** : we went out for dinner

**yuri-plisetsky** : everything was going fine until we left the restaurant

**yuri-plisetsky** : he asked what i wanted to do next

**christophe-gc** : should have told him YOU ;D

**v-nikiforov** : LOL

**yuri-plisetsky** : urgh, you're the worst

**katsuki-yuri** : So far it sounds like a nice date to me

**katsuki-yuri** : Why do you say it was bad?

_**yuri-plisetsky** is typing..._

**yuri-plisetsky** : i sort of said that i wanted

**yuri-plisetsky** : to go back to his hotel room

**v-nikiforov** : Nice!

**christophe-gc** : so proud of you, my young padawan!

**yuri-plisetsky** : it's not nice it was the worst!

**yuri-plisetsky** : i panicked

**christophe-gc** : ??

_**yuri-plisetsky** is typing..._

**yuri-plisetsky** : when we got to the hotel i didn't want to, like,

**yuri-plisetsky** : jump him or anything like that

**yuri-plisetsky** : what if i had read the mood all wrong, that would have been so embarrassing

**katsuki-yuri** : That sounds reasonable

**christophe-gc** : you should have jumped him ;)

**christophe-gc** : I'm sure he wouldn't have minded

**yuri-plisetsky** : anyway, thanks to you three fuckers, i decided to tell him i was feeling warm

**yuri-plisetsky** : and i took off my sweater

**christophe-gc** : OMG! this is getting steamy!!

**yuri-plisetsky** : ewww, what? NO!

**v-nikiforov** : It's fine, our Yurio is an adult now! :D

**yuri-plisetsky** : nothing happened!

**yuri-plisetsky** : he thought i had a fever!!!

**christophe-gc** : what?? why???

**yuri-plisetsky** : i forgot we're in RUSSIA and it's WINTER and it's COLD

**katsuki-yuri** : Oh no…

**yuri-plisetsky** : he started asking if i was feeling well

**yuri-plisetsky** : because i said i was feeling warm even tho the room was so cold

**v-nikiforov** : Did he check your forehead to see if you had a fever? 8D

**yuri-plisetsky** : hE DID

**katsuki-yuri** : At least… Isn't it nice that he cares about your health?

**yuri-plisetsky** : put his hand on my forehead and everything

**yuri-plisetsky** : it was so embarrassing i could have died

**christophe-gc** : haha I bet if you were blushing it looked even more like you had a fever

**yuri-plisetsky** : i was not blushing, oh my god!!

**v-nikiforov** : Blushing Yurio! I want to see that!

**christophe-gc** : should've taken advantage of the situation to do some sexy nurse/patient roleplay ;)

**yuri-plisetsky** : i cannot believe you two

**katsuki-yuri** : Please, be more considerate of Yurio

**yuri-plisetsky** : and my name is not yurio!! stop it

**katsuki-yuri** : What happened with Otabek, then? Did you explain the situation?

**yuri-plisetsky** : NO!

**yuri-plisetsky** : how could i, it was too embarrassing

**v-nikiforov** : LOL! Did you really let him think you had a fever?

**yuri-plisetsky** : he said he felt terrible bc i was forcing myself to spend time with him despite being sick

**yuri-plisetsky** : i didn't know how to explain???

**katsuki-yuri** : Even though it's not good to lie…

**katsuki-yuri** : As a fellow insecure person, you have my sympathy Yurio!

**yuri-plisetsky** : i'm not insecure! i don't want your sympathy, katsudon

**christophe-gc** : still… the sexy nurse rp… :(

**yuri-plisetsky** : he called a taxi and sent me home

**yuri-plisetsky** : because of your stupid ideas, my date was cut short

**yuri-plisetsky** : and i hardly ever get to see him

**katsuki-yuri** : :(

**v-nikiforov** : Don't cry, Yurio!

**yuri-plisetsky** : I'M NOT CRYING!

**v-nikiforov** : We'll come up with a better idea for your next date

**christophe-gc** : call him now! tell him you need him to nurse you back to health!!

**yuri-plisetsky** : just stop, this was a mistake, i'm not listening to you any more

**katsuki-yuri** : Maybe Yurio is right about this

**v-nikiforov** : But I'm sure that getting naked was a good move!

**christophe-gc** : nakedness is always a good move ;D

**v-nikiforov** : It was unfortunate that he misunderstood, but I've got a brilliant idea for next time

**christophe-gc** : oooh! tell us!!

**yuri-plisetsky** : did you not read what i just wrote

**yuri-plisetsky** : why are you like this


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Otayuri Week 2017, Day 4: Long Distance

_Today, 17:14_

**v-nikiforov** : How do you think it's going?

**katsuki-yuri** : You can ask Yurio when he's online

**v-nikiforov** : Maybe we should go back and check on them

**katsuki-yuri** : I'm not sure he'd appreciate that…

**v-nikiforov** : :(

**christophe-gc** : ??

**christophe-gc** : what's going on?

**v-nikiforov** : Yurio and Otabek are practicing together at the rink

**v-nikiforov** : Alone ;D

**christophe-gc** : omg I want to know what they're doing!!

**v-nikiforov** : Same! But Yuuri made me leave!

**katsuki-yuri** : How do you expect him to make a move if the two of us are still around??

**v-nikiforov** : I just wanted to cheer him on from the sidelines…

_**katsuki-yuri** is typing..._

**katsuki-yuri** : It's not a competition, Viktor

_Today, 18:56_

**katsuki-yuri** : Do you think they're still at the ice rink?

**katsuki-yuri** : It's getting late

**v-nikiforov** : Yuuuriooo!!! Are you ignoring us? Tell us what happened!

**christophe-gc** : OMG! do you think maybe they're having sex right now

**christophe-gc** : and that's why Yurio isn't answering the messages

**v-nikiforov** : O M G

**yuri-plisetsky** : i'm not! stop perving on other people's lives!

**katsuki-yuri** : Yurio! Are you still practicing?

**christophe-gc** : did you do ~it~?

**yuri-plisetsky** : what do you think, that we had sex in the locker room??

**christophe-gc** : IS THAT WHAT YOU DID

**yuri-plisetsky** : we didn't! god

_**yuri-plisetsky** is typing..._

**yuri-plisetsky** : we're in the lockers NOT HAVING SEX thank you very much

**yuri-plisetsky** : i'm getting changed and otabek stepped away to answer a call from his mum

**yuri-plisetsky** : otabek isn't the kind of person who would have sex in a public place, anyway

**v-nikiforov** : You'd be surprised by what people might be into

**v-nikiforov** : Even the most innocent-looking types ;D

**christophe-gc** : especially the innocent types!

**katsuki-yuri** : Viktor!

**yuri-plisetsky** : i don't even want to know

**yuri-plisetsky** : please never let me know what you're into

**katsuki-yuri** : Agreed. Otherwise I will take away your phone privileges.

**v-nikiforov** : D:

**christophe-gc** : okay but what about yurio's boyfriend??

**christophe-gc** : does he still believe he has a fever?

**v-nikiforov** : We told Otabek that we nursed Yurio back to health with chicken soup and love! ❤︎

**yuri-plisetsky** : you were so gross

**yuri-plisetsky** : i can't believe otabek believed you

**katsuki-yuri** : We had to say something! Otherwise he'd have wondered how you recovered from your cold so quickly.

**yuri-plisetsky** : yeah, well, thanks a lot, it was completely useless

**katsuki-yuri** : So you still haven't managed to…?

**yuri-plisetsky** : of course not!

**v-nikiforov** : Even though we left you two alone so you could hook up?

**v-nikiforov** : What about our plan?

**yuri-plisetsky** : YOUR plan is stupid

**christophe-gc** : did you even try it??

**yuri-plisetsky** : no

**v-nikiforov** : He did! :D

**katsuki-yuri** : From Yurio's attitude, I'm assuming it didn't go as hoped?

**yuri-plisetsky** : it was a stupid idea to begin with

**v-nikiforov** : It wasn't!

_**v-nikiforov** sent a photo: **Yurio_smiling_at_Otabek_during_practice.jpg** (932.4 kB)_

**v-nikiforov** : I even gave you one of my shirts to wear

**christophe-gc** : LOL I remember that shirt

**yuri-plisetsky** : urgh can't you stick to taking photos of katsudon

**yuri-plisetsky** : and it was so uncomfortable to skate in that, it kept slipping off my shoulders whenever i jumped

**v-nikiforov** : That was the point!

**v-nikiforov** : It's my super special Show-Off-My-Collarbone-For-Yuuri shirt ;D

**katsuki-yuri** : Wait

**yuri-plisetsky** : urgh

**katsuki-yuri** : You were doing that on purpose?

**v-nikiforov** : ❤︎

**katsuki-yuri** : When you stayed with us, your yukata kept slipping off

**katsuki-yuri** : Was that also on purpose?

**katsuki-yuri** : I thought you were just bad at putting it on!

**v-nikiforov** : ❤︎❤︎❤︎

**yuri-plisetsky** : i can't believe an idiot like you got married

**v-nikiforov** : That's because Yuuri couldn't resist me!!

**christophe-gc** : the power of love!

**christophe-gc** : and oversized clothes LOL

**v-nikiforov** : Don't be so negative, Yurio! It was working for you too

**katsuki-yuri** : That's true, I saw Otabek staring at you while you were skating

**yuri-plisetsky** : isn't it obvious that he would look at me when i do my program??

**yuri-plisetsky** : the shirt had nothing to do with it

**v-nikiforov** : Are you sure? He looked ready to eat you up ;)

**yuri-plisetsky** : whatever

**christophe-gc** : so nothing happened after Viktor and Yuuri left??

**christophe-gc** : what a waste D:

**katsuki-yuri** : Oh :(

**katsuki-yuri** : There was such a sweet mood when we left, I thought that maybe…

**yuri-plisetsky** : the only thing that happened

**yuri-plisetsky** : was that otabek took off his sweater

**yuri-plisetsky** : aND GAVE IT TO ME

**christophe-gc** : no!! Otabek why??? you're doing it all wrong, you need more nudity not more clothes!

**yuri-plisetsky** : he was worried that i'd get cold since i just recovered from my fever

**katsuki-yuri** : That was very considerate of Otabek :)

**yuri-plisetsky** : it's actually

**yuri-plisetsky** : nice

**yuri-plisetsky** : it smells like him

**yuri-plisetsky** : but i never had a fever!!!

**yuri-plisetsky** : this is all because of viktor's stupid idea

**v-nikiforov** : Give it time

**yuri-plisetsky** : otabek just came back

**yuri-plisetsky** : bye

**v-nikiforov** : Even Yuuri at first refused to sleep with me

**christophe-gc** : I think he's already gone

**katsuki-yuri** : They did say they were going out for dinner, since Otabek is leaving tomorrow

**christophe-gc** : so soon? :(

**christophe-gc** : long distance is hard

**christophe-gc** : yurio! you better make a move tonight!

_Today, 10:03_

_**v-nikiforov** sent a photo: **I_think_Yurio_stole_Otabeks_sweater.jpg** (796.8 kB)_

**yuri-plisetsky** : he said i could keep it!

**yuri-plisetsky** : and don't even ask about last night, or else!!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Otayuri Week 2017, Day 5: Encouragement
> 
> I'm sorry this is late! To the surprise of nobody who knows me, my estimation was off and the story will be longer than 4 chapters. I'm thinking 5 or 6 chapters, but at this point who even knows.

_Today, 08:45_

**christophe-gc** : how is Yurio?

 **christophe-gc** : still pining?

 **katsuki-yuri** : He's been feeling down since Otabek left

 **katsuki-yuri** : He says it's fine, but it can't be easy, living so far from his boyfriend…

 **v-nikiforov** : Without getting laid, either :(

 **christophe-gc** : harsh, imagine dating someone so hot and not being able to tap that

 **yuri-plisetsky** : you know i can read what you write here, right??

 **v-nikiforov** : We worry about you, Yurio!

 **katsuki-yuri** : Don't forget you can speak to us if we're lonely!

 **yuri-plisetsky** : that's literally the opposite of what i want to do

 **yuri-plisetsky** : just leave me alone

 **christophe-gc** : we just want to help!!

 **katsuki-yuri** : Even though none of us here has dated long distance

 **katsuki-yuri** : I know what it's like to want to see somebody

 **katsuki-yuri** : Oh! That reminds me!

_**katsuki-yuri** has added **phichit-chu** to the chat._

**v-nikiforov** : Hello Phichit!

 **phichit-chu** : Hi everyone!

 **christophe-gc** : hi!!

 **katsuki-yuri** : Hi Phichit, I hope we're not disturbing

 **katsuki-yuri** : Are you still in practice?

 **phichit-chu** : Nope, it's lunch time over here! :)

_**phichit-chu** sent a photo: **Yummy_Khao_Pad.jpg** (3.2 MB)_

**katsuki-yuri** : That looks so good

 **phichit-chu** : You should come visit and we'll eat it together!

 **v-nikiforov** : Yuuri, let's go! We haven't had a holiday in so long!

 **christophe-gc** : I want to come too :D

 **katsuki-yuri** : We were just in Austria last week…

 **v-nikiforov** : That doesn't count, the gala was for work. Let's go to Thailand and visit Phichit!

 **katsuki-yuri** : I'd like that

 **katsuki-yuri** : But it's not why I added Phichit to the chat

 **phichit-chu** : "Mission D"?

 **phichit-chu** : Yuuri! Does that mean what I think it means?

 **christophe-gc** : it does!!

 **christophe-gc** : we're trying to get Yurio laid!

 **katsuki-yuri** : NO!

 **v-nikiforov** : Yurio is dating SOMEONE and he would like to take this SOMEONE to bed

 **katsuki-yuri** : I mean, yes, Viktor and Chris were trying to give him tips, but I don't think it's working

 **katsuki-yuri** : Because his boyfriend isn't taking the hint

 **phichit-chu** : You mean Otabek?

 **yuri-plisetsky** : how

 **yuri-plisetsky** : hOW DO YOU KNOW I'M DATING HIM??

 **yuri-plisetsky** : viktor! stop telling everyone!

 **v-nikiforov** : I didn't say anything D:

 **phichit-chu** : Sorry! Was it meant to be a secret?

 **phichit-chu** : I thought everyone knew

 **yuri-plisetsky** : what

 **yuri-plisetsky** : why D:

 **phichit-chu** : Haha, isn't it obvious from your instagram photos? :)

 **yuri-plisetsky** : we're friends

 **christophe-gc** : L O L Yurio was lurking but answered right away when we started talking about his bf

 **yuri-plisetsky** : i posted photos of otabek even before we started dating

 **yuri-plisetsky** : what do you mean everyone knows??

 **phichit-chu** : Haha :)

 **katsuki-yuri** : Viktor and I also suspected it even before you told us

 **christophe-gc** : you're not good at hiding it ;)

 **v-nikiforov** : There's something in the way you act around each other

 **yuri-plisetsky** : but i act normal around him!!

 **yuri-plisetsky** : and i'm not hiding or anything

_**yuri-plisetsky** is typing..._

**yuri-plisetsky** : we talked about it and decided we don't want the media to talk just about our relationship and not about our skating

 **katsuki-yuri** : I understand your decision

 **katsuki-yuri** : Though I don't regret going public about my relationship with Viktor,

 **katsuki-yuri** : That kind of media attention can be overwhelming

 **christophe-gc** : unless you're Viktor 8D then you're already used to being the center of attention

 **phichit-chu** : Yurio, if it makes you feel better, I think someone who doesn't know you wouldn't realize you're dating

 **phichit-chu** : It's only obvious for us who know you :)

 **yuri-plisetsky** : so only a bunch of skaters know… great…

 **v-nikiforov** : Don't forget about Yakov and Lilia!

 **v-nikiforov** : They know for sure, especially after you wore a Kazakhstan sweater to practice last week

 **phichit-chu** : Yurio, did you? That's adorable! Do you have photos?

 **yuri-plisetsky** : URGH fuck off all of you

 **phichit-chu** : D: Sorry!

 **katsuki-yuri** : Don't take it personally, Yurio has been very grumpy all week

 **katsuki-yuri** : He's having a hard time because he can only see Otabek once in a while

 **v-nikiforov** : He's going through his rebellious teenage phase :(

 **yuri-plisetsky** : i'm an adult!!

 **katsuki-yuri** : Actually, that's why I invited Phichit

 **katsuki-yuri** : None of us has any experience with long distance relationships

 **phichit-chu** : I don't either…

 **katsuki-yuri** : No, but you have so many friends around the world

 **katsuki-yuri** : I'm no longer in touch with many of the people I knew in Detroit, but you still talk to everyone regularly

 **katsuki-yuri** : I always thought you are so good at keeping up with all of them

 **phichit-chu** : Thanks! It's nothing special though. :)

 **katsuki-yuri** : I thought maybe you had some tips for Yurio

 **katsuki-yuri** : About how to maintain a connection with someone despite living far away

 **v-nikiforov** : That's a great idea, babe!

 **yuri-plisetsky** : i don't need any of that

 **v-nikiforov** : Yurio! It might be helpful!

 **phichit-chu** : Haha, I'm really grateful for the vote of confidence, but I really wouldn't know!

 **phichit-chu** : All I do is send lots of messages and photos to my friends

 **christophe-gc** : btw I have to say, your photos are great

 **christophe-gc** : I was looking at your instagram and you're like a pro!

 **phichit-chu** : :)

 **phichit-chu** : I like sharing bits of my life with my faraway friends

 **v-nikiforov** : I never thought of it this way! :o

 **katsuki-yuri** : That's so sweet! Yurio, don't you think so?

 **yuri-plisetsky** : yeah, whatever, we already message each other and talk on skype

 **yuri-plisetsky** : that kind of thing is obvious

 **katsuki-yuri** : But photos would be more personal

 **katsuki-yuri** : You don't send many photos to Otabek, do you?

 **phichit-chu** : If you send a photo of your everyday moments, it'll be a bit like he's there with you, peeking over your shoulder :)

 **yuri-plisetsky** : you think so?

 **v-nikiforov** : I like this idea

 **christophe-gc** : oooh, I know what you should do

 **christophe-gc** : send him nudes


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Otayuri Week 2017, Day 6 (no particular prompt)

_Today, 19:27_

_**v-nikiforov** has added **mila-babicheva** to the chat._

_**v-nikiforov** has added **icerulerofrussia** to the chat._

**v-nikiforov** : This is the chat I was talking about ;D

 **christophe-gc** : hi Mila!

 **christophe-gc** : hi icerulerofrussia, I don't recognize the username

 **yuri-plisetsky** : urgh, what are you doing baldy, why did you invite them here

 **mila-babicheva** : Hi! The one with the weird name is Georgi

 **v-nikiforov** : I added them so they can give us status reports

 **icerulerofrussia** : Am I so forgettable that nobody remembers my username? T^T

 **v-nikiforov** : Since Yurio refuses to tell us how it's going with Otabek :(

 **yuri-plisetsky** : because it's none of your business!

 **icerulerofrussia** : I should go… You don't need me…

 **mila-babicheva** : Don't worry Viktor

 **mila-babicheva** : We'll dutifully report on the situation while you and Japanese Yuuri are away!

 **yuri-plisetsky** : tHAT IS UNNECESSARY

 **yuri-plisetsky** : go away baba, nobody wants you

 **v-nikiforov** : I went back to the hotel so Yuuri and Phichit can catch up

 **v-nikiforov** : But now I miss my husband and wish he would come back soon :(

 **icerulerofrussia** : It must be nice to have someone who loves you…

 **v-nikiforov** : And Yurio is ignoring my messages!

 **christophe-gc** : cheer up Georgi, you're still young ;)

 **icerulerofrussia** : …I'm the same age as you…

 **mila-babicheva** : Aww, Yuri~ Are you too embarrassed to tell?

 **v-nikiforov** : Tell what? Did something happen??

 **yuri-plisetsky** : nothing happened! it's none of your business!

 **christophe-gc** : I want to know too!! what happened?

 **mila-babicheva** : For the last few days, every time we take a break

 **mila-babicheva** : Yuri has been taking selfies and then smiling at his phone

 **christophe-gc** : !!!

 **v-nikiforov** : Yurio! You're following Phichit's advice! :D

 **yuri-plisetsky** : so i sent my bf a couple of photos, what's the big deal

 **mila-babicheva** : Otabek is sending him photos too!

 **mila-babicheva** : I happened to skate by and saw one of him with the mountains in the background

 **mila-babicheva** : That boy is devastatingly handsome

 **christophe-gc** : isn't he??

 **yuri-plisetsky** : he's taken, baba!

 **mila-babicheva** : It's not a crime to look :)

 **v-nikiforov** : Excellent reporting, Mila!

 **mila-babicheva** : That's not all! :) Yuri is going to Almaty to visit Otabek~~~

 **christophe-gc** : O M G

 **icerulerofrussia** : I also heard him talking with Yakov about it

 **icerulerofrussia** : Good for you, Yuri, young love is such a fragile and beautiful thing

 **icerulerofrussia** : It needs to be nurtured however you can

 **icerulerofrussia** : Like a delicate flower

 **yuri-plisetsky** : wtf are you on

 **christophe-gc** : Yurio, why didn't you tell us ;D

 **v-nikiforov** : As a coach I don't approve of taking time off mid-season, but as a fellow man I say go for it!

 **yuri-plisetsky** : like you're one to talk?? you and katsudon just flew off to thailand ffs!

 **v-nikiforov** : I'm sure this time we can come up with a perfect plan to get you laid!

 **mila-babicheva** : Is that what you do in this chat? XD

 **christophe-gc** : we're experts ;)

 **yuri-plisetsky** : yeah right

 **yuri-plisetsky** : you and viktor are completely useless

 **yuri-plisetsky** : and mila and georgi are only experts at failing relationships

 **icerulerofrussia** : T^T

 **mila-babicheva** : Hey! I'll have you know that I'm in a relationship right now

 **yuri-plisetsky** : what? no way, you're lying

 **yuri-plisetsky** : who is it

 **mila-babicheva** : Secret :)

 **christophe-gc** : oooh! a secret relationship!

 **icerulerofrussia** : Mila, you're dating someone? I'm always the last to know this kind of thing…

 **v-nikiforov** : Is it anyone we know?

 **christophe-gc** : I think I can guess, but I don't want to speculate if you want to keep it secret

_**mila-babicheva** is typing..._

**mila-babicheva** : It's no big deal, I'll tell everyone properly very soon, but she wants to keep it under wraps until she tells her family

 **icerulerofrussia** : You're dating a woman? o_O

 **mila-babicheva** : Let's not change the subject! We were talking about our Yuri!

 **yuri-plisetsky** : no, please, let's keep talking about mila's nonexistent girlfriend

 **mila-babicheva** : She exists :)

 **mila-babicheva** : You've met her too

 **v-nikiforov** : See, Yurio? Mila can give you relationship advice too!

 **yuri-plisetsky** : i don't need advice!!

 **icerulerofrussia** : Everyone here is dating someone… Or married…

 **icerulerofrussia** : Everyone but me… T^T

 **christophe-gc** : you need advice to take your relationship to the next level ;D

 **mila-babicheva** : What's the problem with Yuri and Otabek's relatioship?

 **v-nikiforov** : Otabek won't sleep with him

 **yuri-plisetsky** : not because he doesn't want to!

 **v-nikiforov** : So we're trying to come up with ideas for Yurio to seduce him

 **christophe-gc** : you need to set the right mood!!

 **mila-babicheva** : How about: pretend to trip and fall with your lips on his lips

 **mila-babicheva** : And then mouth-maul him :)

 **yuri-plisetsky** : are you serious

 **mila-babicheva** : Haha, not really~

 **mila-babicheva** : I thought you weren't interested in our advice

 **yuri-plisetsky** : i'm not, but since i'm stuck in this chat, you might as well make yourself useful


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, next one is the last chapter. For real. I'll even try not to take a week to write it.

_Today, 21:06_

**v-nikiforov** : It's getting late

 **v-nikiforov** : Has anyone heard from Yurio?

 **mila-babicheva** : Yeah, he's been blowing up my phone all day

 **mila-babicheva** : Wanting to hear how his cat is doing

 **katsuki-yuri** : He sent me photos of the Cathedral, Almaty looks nice :)

 **icerulerofrussia** : The mountains at sunset looked especially melancholic

 **v-nikiforov** : What?? Then why is he ignoring my messages?

 **icerulerofrussia** : Their snow-capped peaks standing against a sky streaked with orange and pink…

 **v-nikiforov** : We should have offered to take care of his cat, so I'd have an excuse to call

 **katsuki-yuri** : It can't be helped, she doesn't like Makkachin

 **katsuki-yuri** : I'm sure Yurio is fine

 **v-nikiforov** : But I'm worried!

 **yuri-plisetsky** : urgh you're so annoying baldy, you're not my dad

 **katsuki-yuri** : Hello Yurio!

 **christophe-gc** : hey! how is it going? ;D

 **v-nikiforov** : I just wanted to make sure that you landed safely and met up with Otabek D:

 **yuri-plisetsky** : i'm only here to check on my cat

 **mila-babicheva** : Again?

 **mila-babicheva** : I told you ten minutes ago, your princess is fine~

_**mila-babicheva** sent a photo: **Sleeping_Furball.jpg** (861.3 kB)_

**katsuki-yuri** : Yurio's cat is so cute

 **yuri-plisetsky** : is she ok? she looks sad

 **mila-babicheva** : She's not! She's sleeping like a log~

 **mila-babicheva** : She's also shedding everywhere D:

 **christophe-gc** : aww so cute!

 **yuri-plisetsky** : ragdolls are a long hair breed

 **yuri-plisetsky** : it's normal that she sheds a bit

 **mila-babicheva** : I have cat hair all over my fave black jeans :(

 **mila-babicheva** : You owe me, Plisetsky!

 **christophe-gc** : mine sheds like crazy too

_**christophe-gc** sent a photo: **Mon_Ange.jpg** (783.2 kB)_

**mila-babicheva** : Is that yours, Christope? I didn't know you had a cat

 **christophe-gc** : yep! she's my baby 8D

 **icerulerofrussia** : I'm allergic to cats T^T

 **v-nikiforov** : Yes, yes, this is nice but

 **v-nikiforov** : What about Otabek??

 **christophe-gc** : good point

 **christophe-gc** : how are things going? 8D

 **yuri-plisetsky** : urgh things are fine, what did you expect

 **mila-babicheva** : What have you done all day? Alone with him in a strange city~

 **yuri-plisetsky** : just the usual touristy stuff i guess

 **yuri-plisetsky** : he gave me a tour of almaty

 **christophe-gc** : did he also give you a tour of his pants? ;D

_**yuri-plisetsky** has left the chat._

**mila-babicheva** : I guess that's a no?

 **katsuki-yuri** : Chris, We talked about this! Stop making him quit!

_**v-nikiforov** has added **yuri-plisetsky** to the chat._

**christophe-gc** : it's not my fault! he's always quitting at random :(

 **mila-babicheva** : Come on Yurio, we just want to know if you're banging Otabek already!

 **yuri-plisetsky** : i stg i will block all of you assholes

 **mila-babicheva** : Because if I can't do him then someone else should~

 **yuri-plisetsky** : seriously?? YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND

 **v-nikiforov** : But have you managed to sleep with Otabek or not??

 **christophe-gc** : he definitely hasn't

 **mila-babicheva** : I can feel the sexual frustration from here

 **icerulerofrussia** : Sometimes I think we as a society put too much emphasis on sex

 **icerulerofrussia** : Maybe we should go back to old-fashioned romance

 **icerulerofrussia** : When just holding hands while walking down a moonlit street was a thrill

 **v-nikiforov** : Ok, so the important question is

 **v-nikiforov** : What's the weather like in Almaty?

 **christophe-gc** : checking now but I think warm enough

 **v-nikiforov** : Good! Did you remember to bring the Show-Off-My-Collarbone-For-Yuuri shirt?

 **yuri-plisetsky** : are you shitting me

 **v-nikiforov** : I guess for you it's a Show-Off-Your-Collarbone-For-Otabek shirt ;D

 **katsuki-yuri** : I'm sorry to say it but I don't think it would work…

 **mila-babicheva** : I agree, it's a dumb idea Vik

 **mila-babicheva** : Yurio, you should try and set a romantic atmosphere

 **mila-babicheva** : Otabek strikes me as the romantic type

 **icerulerofrussia** : Candles are romantic. Violins. Rose petals.

 **v-nikiforov** : I still like my idea better but

 **v-nikiforov** : That sounds nice

 **icerulerofrussia** : A cascade of red rose petals, strewn everywhere

 **yuri-plisetsky** : urgh, sappy

 **icerulerofrussia** : With violins in the background

 **icerulerofrussia** : I'll send you a playlist

 **yuri-plisetsky** : I'm barfing just thinking about it

 **mila-babicheva** : I guess that's not exactly your style~

 **christophe-gc** : speaking of!

_**christophe-gc** has added **jjleroy15** to the chat._

**christophe-gc** : since he's engaged, maybe he can help!

 **yuri-plisetsky** : no

 **yuri-plisetsky** : why

 **jjleroy15** : sup guys?

_**yuri-plisetsky** has left the chat._


	7. Chapter 7

_Yesterday, 13:42_

**v-nikiforov** : Yurio still hasn't unblocked me :(

 **christophe-gc** : same D:

 **christophe-gc** : even tho I told him JJ already left the chat

 **mila-babicheva** : How did you tell him if he blocked you?

 **christophe-gc** : I told him on instagram

 **christophe-gc** : then he blocked me on instagram too

_Today, 10:23_

_**phichit-chu** has added **yuri-plisetsky** to the chat._

**phichit-chu** : Here you go!

 **yuri-plisetsky** : thx

 **phichit-chu** : So what happened? Are you still in Almaty?

 **phichit-chu** : I keep missing the times when you guys are in the chat because of timezones, haha.

 **yuri-plisetsky** : yeah i'm staying all week

 **yuri-plisetsky** : hold on i'll send some photos i took

 **yuri-plisetsky** sent a photo: **Kaz58.jpg** (936.3 kB)

 **yuri-plisetsky** sent a photo: **Kaz93.jpg** (742.7 kB)

 **yuri-plisetsky** sent a photo: **Kaz114.jpg** (899.8 kB)

 **phichit-chu** : Beautiful

 **katsuki-yuri** : Nice photos :)

 **phichit-chu** : I like the second one, with the city in the background

 **yuri-plisetsky** : yeah that was a great view

 **v-nikiforov** : Yurio! I missed you!

 **mila-babicheva** : I wish I could go on holiday with my girlfriend too~

 **mila-babicheva** : Maybe she can come visit, I should ask

 **icerulerofrussia** : I wish I had a girlfriend

 **christophe-gc** : I didn't know they had such a large outdoor rink in Almaty

 **yuri-plisetsky** : it's not in the city proper, it's out in the mountains

 **yuri-plisetsky** : we took a day trip

 **katsuki-yuri** : Are you there right now?

 **yuri-plisetsky** : nah that was yesterday

 **yuri-plisetsky** : today we're just gonna hang out

 **yuri-plisetsky** : going to otabek's cousin's for lunch

 **phichit-chu** : OMG Yurio! That last photo!

 **yuri-plisetsky** : ?

 **phichit-chu** : Did you not notice

 **mila-babicheva** : What about it?

 **icerulerofrussia** : Do you mean the way in which the mountainside catches the light?

 **phichit-chu** : Nonono XD if you zoom in

 **phichit-chu** : On Yurio

 **christophe-gc** : LMAO YES. I see it 8D

 **icerulerofrussia** : Is it the majesty of those century-old evergreens?

 **mila-babicheva** : Oh my godddd~~~

 **mila-babicheva** : I cannot believe

 **yuri-plisetsky** : what are you talking about now

 **v-nikiforov** : Congratulations Yurio!

 **mila-babicheva** : Yeah, congrats :D

 **christophe-gc** : it was about time ;)

 **katsuki-yuri** : What? I don't get it

 **v-nikiforov** : Zoom on his neck

 **phichit-chu** : That's a very large hickey, Yurio!

 **yuri-plisetsky** : no

 **christophe-gc** : it is large, and I'll have you know I'm somewhat of an expert

 **yuri-plisetsky** : fuck fuck fuck

 **mila-babicheva** : Yeah, I was wondering why Yuri wasn't his usual rageball self~

 **christophe-gc** : on closer look

 **christophe-gc** : he does have the satisfied look of someone who just got laid

 **yuri-plisetsky** : this is not what happened

 **christophe-gc** : *they both do actually

 **yuri-plisetsky** : no this doesn't mean we had sex

 **yuri-plisetsky** : you have NO PROOF

 **v-nikiforov** : It's fine as long as you used protection! Don't worry, we're all adults here ;)

 **yuri-plisetsky** : HOW CAN YOU TELL??

 **christophe-gc** : so do you think our advice helped?

 **v-nikiforov** : Did you use the loose shirt trick?

 **mila-babicheva** : Haha I don't think so

 **mila-babicheva** : I bet Otabek just realized from the way Yuri was looking at him

 **mila-babicheva** : He'd have to be pretty dense not to

 **christophe-gc** : that's what I thought too!

 **v-nikiforov** : Well, some people can be pretty dense, but we love them anyway ❤︎

 **v-nikiforov** : Even though they made us wait and wait before getting in bed

 **v-nikiforov** : And wait

 **katsuki-yuri** : You'll wait a lot longer if the dishes aren't done when I get home

 **v-nikiforov** : D:

_Today, 10:47_

**v-nikiforov** : Is Yurio still in the chat?

 **v-nikiforov** : He's not saying anything any more

 **katsuki-yuri** : Probably ignoring you again

 **christophe-gc** : harsh but true 8D

 **v-nikiforov** : You're very harsh today babe D:

 **v-nikiforov** : Not that I mind you bossing me around… ❤︎

 **mila-babicheva** : Excuse me? Some people here are dating long distance, get a room~

 **v-nikiforov** : It's not as if I can do anything, Yuuri won't talk to me because of the dishes :(

 **phichit-chu** : But… you are talking in the chat…

 **v-nikiforov** : I'll call Yurio

 **christophe-gc** : LMAO he's gonna block you again!

 **v-nikiforov** : I just want to say hi and check that they did use protection

 **mila-babicheva** : Yeah, he's definitely going to block you

 **katsuki-yuri** : Don't come crying to me when that happens

 **katsuki-yuri** : Oh

 **katsuki-yuri** : This is weird, Otabek answered the phone

 **mila-babicheva** : What?

 **phichit-chu** : He has Yurio's phone?

 **icerulerofrussia** : Was Yuri abducted? Was Otabek pretending to be Yuri all along??

 **christophe-gc** : what??? no way, you watch too many movies 8D

 **mila-babicheva** : So?

 **mila-babicheva** : Yuuri?

 **mila-babicheva** : Viktor!

 **phichit-chu** : Come on, guys, we're curious

 **v-nikiforov** : That was interesting ;D

 **christophe-gc** : Viktor, come on!

 **christophe-gc** : I was your best man, so stop with the suspense and tell us everything

 **phichit-chu** : Did you just talk with Otabek on the phone?

 **v-nikiforov** : Yes!

 **v-nikiforov** : He sounded very puzzled because Yuri went and locked himself in the bathroom

 **mila-babicheva** : Oh my god he's embarrassed, how cute

 **christophe-gc** : ahh young love

 **mila-babicheva** : Tell Otabek to get photos, I'm gonna use them to blackmail Yuri for the next 50 years

 **icerulerofrussia** : You should never be embarrassed of loving someone

 **katsuki-yuri** : I know we meant well but I felt sorry for embarrassing Yurio

 **v-nikiforov** : We just wanted to let him know that we're happy for him!

 **mila-babicheva** : Yeah, it's not as if we baked him a cake with Congrats On The Sex on it~

 **mila-babicheva** : (Mostly because Yakov would kill us for messing with his diet.)

 **mila-babicheva** : (Otherwise I would have, because cake.)

 **yuri-plisetsky** : you assholes

 **yuri-plisetsky** : i can't believe you went and called my boyfriend

 **v-nikiforov** : Actually I called you?? It's not my fault you didn't answer and Otabek picked up :(

 **yuri-plisetsky** : if you told him anything embarrassing i'm gonna kill you

 **katsuki-yuri** : Don't worry, he didn't!

 **v-nikiforov** : Even though I really wanted to know

 **v-nikiforov** : Did our tips about getting naked help?

 **yuri-plisetsky** : urgh of course not, it was a stupid idea

 **yuri-plisetsky** : you're stupid

 **christophe-gc** : so what happened?

 **christophe-gc** : did Otabek see you naked and realize you wanted to bang? ;D it was about time

 **phichit-chu** : Oh my, Chris! Do you think it was Otabek who made the first move?

 **mila-babicheva** : I wouldn't mind being swept off my feet by Otabek either~

 **yuri-plisetsky** : you. have. a. girlfriend.

 **mila-babicheva** : It's not a crime to look XD

 **v-nikiforov** : Anyway, I guess I should tell you, Yurio…

 **v-nikiforov** : When you were hiding in the bathroom and I called

 **v-nikiforov** : Otabek saw the title of the chat

 **christophe-gc** : lmao MISSION D

 **yuri-plisetsky** : fuck no

 **yuri-plisetsky** : maybe he didn't notice????

 **christophe-gc** : he got that D all right ;)

 **mila-babicheva** : They both diiid~

 **v-nikiforov** : No he did notice, he even asked me about it

 **yuri-plisetsky** : you're dead nikiforov

 **v-nikiforov** : He wanted to know what Missions A to C were

 **christophe-gc** : srsly??

 **mila-babicheva** : Awwn~ That is so very sweet and so very dumb~~

 **katsuki-yuri** : Well… I guess it's better this way.

 **phichit-chu** : Agreed!

 **christophe-gc** : that boy is oblivious tho, it's a miracle they ended up together

 **christophe-gc** : at times I thought he'd never realize you wanted to bang

 **v-nikiforov** : Now, now, as long as the two of them are happy…

 **yuri-plisetsky** : shut up baldy

_**v-nikiforov** changed the chat title to **"Mission CLEAR"**._


End file.
